Ko Tao-rible

F me in the A. After a day of recovering, Tim from London, Kevin from Ireland, the Swedish girls, the English couple George and Haley, and I took a ferry to Ko Tao, a tiny island 2 hours north of Ko Phangan, who's rep stems from being one of the cheapest SCUBA certification spots in the world. Little did we know, however, every other Full Moon Partier was on their way as well. We hit Ko Tao at 2 p.m. and it was an immediate scramble to find a place to stay, but there was absolutely nothing. We walked and walked, and walked some more. The girls sat and ate while George and I went place to place for another hour in search of a place to lay our head for the night. The only option was a smack-dab on the beach villa for 1,800 Baht, which is not terrible considering how many people we had. But by the time we came back to check in, he had already given the place away. So back to square one. It was getting late and options were wearing thin. We proposed the idea of sleeping on the beach, and while most of us were keen on it, the Swedish queens, of course, were not. So they paid more than we were willing to shell out for a small room. Soon after, Kevin, George, Haley and I started scouting locations to set up camp. We found a nice little patch of sand away from the drunk passerbyers, laid out all our blankets and towels, threw the mosquito net over our faces, and tried to bear with it. It would have been a damn cool adventure had the mosquitos not been all over the place, and at around one we had to change spots. We found some hammocks, but that lasted a mere hour before the bugs followed us. We walked further down the beach where a party was taking place. There were bean bags all over the sand, people dancing all around them, and we figured that if we could deal with the blaring techno, atleast we'd be comfortable. So, here's the situation... we're hot, sweaty, tired, and we're right in the middle of a rave, ladyboy transvestites dancing all around us while we're just trying to settle into a bean bag and pass out. That lasted us through 6:30 a.m., and at that point it was another scramble to find a place to stay.

Unfortunately, no hotels know who's checking out and when, so you just have to be at he right place at the right time and hope people are leaving as you are entering. After going to a couple places, it was evident that it would be pure luck to land five of us in one room let alone two. After a quick chat with a ladyboy hotel manager, something started to brew. Maybe it was the cute twinkle in my eye or maybe it was the Ladyboy's odd view on sexuality, but he/she was quite keen on me. There was only one small room for two available, and I knew that if I had any shot of getting all five of us a room, I would need to up my Ladyboy flirting skills and convince her to give us this four person bungalow that was already reserved for two people. At this time, it might be our only shot of getting everyone accommodated. After some playful giggling, some smiles, and even a little fake gayness on my end, Tilda the Ladyboy said, "I take care you. I give you big bungalow for you friends and I put other people in small bungalow. I like you." So, in a town and location where everyone is paying upwards of 400 Baht each for a place, the five us are paying 160 Baht each to stay in a bungalow with two double beds, George and Haley in one and me, Tim, and Kevin in the other... oh, the trials and tribulations of being a budget traveller. We should be starting our SCUBA course tomorrow or the next day.

In the meantime, enjoy another classic moment from Full Moon Party debauchery.