Sick.

It was a dark and stormy night... in my head, that is. I turned the lights off promptly at 8 p.m. and went right into bed for what began as hours of agonizing, sleepless pain. For once my stomach wasn't the issue, but every muscle in my body ached, and when I laid in a position for more than a few seconds, it just hurt more. My head felt like it was going to explode, and when the fan was on I got too cold, and after I'd get up to turn it off, I got too hot. I went to pee what seemed like every thirty minutes, and often times I got out of bed feeling as if I were drunk, stumbling down the hall ways, blurry-eyed and bumping into the walls, my equilibrium upside down. I lay back down in bed and the room would spin, but quickly turned into me just spinning around because it would be the only way to alleviate what felt like the devil taking a sledge hammer to my back and clamping a vice to my head. Listen, I've dealt with pain before. I can live with a little tummy ache and a head ache. But this was another level, man. For twelve hours, life was pretty miserable. But there was one positive amongst all of this... my pillows were pretty fluffy, the fluffiest pillows I've had in two-plus months.

I must have taken a cat nap, because I looked at my phone at 4:26 a.m., saw that I had a missed call, and magically, all the pain was gone. I walked down the street that morning pain free, whereas the night before I was walking down the street wishing a car would just smash into me.

I took the entire day to rest up some more, threw back some meds, started reading my new Paulo Coehlo book, found an English written newspaper (as rare as a Bar Mitzvah in South Dakota), and tried to comfort myself as much as possible. Later on, I sat down for some food and rewarded my stomach for being a good teammate and not jumping in on the ass kicking that took place on myself last night, and drank an ice cold Pepsi, something I rarely do. But hey, my belly earned it.

Although no amount of money would make me want to repeat the same hours of pain I went through last night, in retrospect, it was a good, hardening experience for me. I didn't have anyone to rub my back and tell me it was going to be all better in the morning. I didn't have a roommate to bring me some water and a cold towel. I didn't have a tv or a funny movie to distract me from the sickness. I didn't even have the simple opportunity to eat a comforting meal. I had myself, a stuffy $4 room, a rickety fan, a hard bed with no blankets (cheap guest houses don't provide linens), and a prayer that it would all end soon. I had no choice but to suck it up and muscle through the worst feelings in the worst conditions, knowing that it would go away eventually.

While a storms damages the surface, it also waters the soil below.

Ko Lipe & Ko Head-Ache

First off, happy 12th birthday Spencer. Ladies and Gents hello. Sorry I have been out of the loop for a while, I was in an island that was very far away from the mainland and internet was a commodity. Anyways, my stay on Ko Lipe was short. A small island, no more than a couple miles long and a half mile wide, Ko Lipe is a beutiful tiny gem on the Andaman coast (west side of Thailand) all the way down, as close to Malaysia as you can get while still being in Thailand. It WAS a beautiful island, but all of the beaches have been littered with boats and it's impossible to swim for ten minutes without dodging a long tail boat. The sand was a powdery white, the water was an emerald green, but the boats absolutely killed it all. I walked to some quieter, deserted beaches, but they were all full of trash as my guess was it's the garbage dump. It was a huge dissapoinment, and I was only there for a day and a half. It was a bummer because it took me so long to get there. I had to take a 90 minute ferry to the pier from Ko Samui on the other coast, an hour bus ride sitting on the floor to the bus terminal in Surat Thani, a two and a half hour bus ride to Trang, and another 90 minute bus ride to the pier at Pak Bara, near Satun. I spent the night at the pier then took a three and a half hour ferry to Ko Lipe. The map is updated so feel free to update yourself with all my trials and tribulations. But it's alright, you can't win them all.

I also feel like I'm coming down with something. My head is pounding, my lymph nodes are all swollen, my back aches, and my head feels like it weighs 20 pounds. I am currenly back in Trang, working my way up the Andaman coast, and I am headed to this tiny little island called Ko Muk, only 30 minutes on a boat (thank God). I am debating staying the night in the city of Trang and resting, as it's an hour bus to get to the pier. I think I'm going to stay in the city and rest, I legit feel like I'm going to fall over, and my thirty pound bag isn't helping. Alright, I love you all, don't worry, I'll be fine, this happens to every traveller.

The Beach

I just finished reading the book, "The Beach", which was the original story set for the movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio. If you haven't seen it, you must! It's a great story about a traveller finding this picture perfect beach unknown to everyone except a select few that have set up camp and made their lives there. Personally, I liked the movie alot better because you're reading about this beach for two hundred pages and its supposed to be as beautiful as the mind can imagine, but you can't see the damn thing. Also, the ending in the book is way different than the movie's ending, as it follows more of a "Lord of the Flies" pattern. But it was still a good read, and it was really cool to be able to relate and know all of the places they travelled through on their way to get to the beach. In both the book and movie, they took off from Ko Samui for a protected Marine Park made up of a bunch of uninhabited, protected islands. I really wanted to do the same, but it's much easier to accomplish in the land of make believe.

Kevin left for Cambodia yesterday, so the Ko Phangan crew is officially dismantled. But it's alright, as travelling friends come and go.

I can't believe I'm at my 8 week mark already. The time has not gone by fast at all, but looking back on it it seems like I just landed in Bangkok and it was snowing when I left NY in January. I've really enjoyed keeping this blog. At first, I thought it was just a great way to avoid repeating the same stories and activities to everyone and anyone who wanted to know. It was a good way to keep loved ones in the loop. It still is, but now it's taken somewhat of a different turn, as it's enabled me to keep developing my craft as a writer. It's really all I got, as I don't have a stage to tell jokes and I don't have any script writing programs. So keep reading, and I'll keep writing.

You learn to appreciate cover bands while you're over here, mainly because of this...

La Pura Vida

I was riding in the back of a pick up truck, my shirt was off, the sun was gleaming off my back. Matt rented a truck for the week, which made moving around alot easier on this not so small island. We just got done visiting a waterfall and were on our way to check out a new beach, when this thought popped into my head:

This is the life that I get to live right now: I go to an island and find the best beach I possibly can. I stay until I'm bored, and when I've had my fill I pack my bags, bring along my new friends, and find a new paradiso. Then I get to repeat the process all over again. The fact that I sleep on the beach for practically pennies sure helps the situation. Could I have drawn this up any better for myself?

Now, beach bumming isn't for everyone, I understand that. But you can call me a homeless crackhead if you please, because I am more than happy being a bum on a beach. The temples were great up north, I've had more than a solid dose of culture. But after four or five temples they begin to look the same. But throw me through a plethora of beaches and I can find something distinct, unique, and uncommon about every single one of them. Not perfect for everyone, just perfect for me.

I saw my first Muay Thai fight last night. These dudes are serious athletes, let me tell you. I don't understand fully all the guidelines and techniques, but I know that it's mostly a kick-driven fight because kicks earn more points than a punch. I got to hang out with a Brazilian fighter afterwards because his girlfriend is one of the people we've been hanging with all week, and I really developed an admiration for the lifestyle. A few weeks ago, I extended my visa for another month so that I can set aside two to three weeks to train at a Muay Thai camp after I'm done touring the south. I really hope I have enough time because it's something I've been itching to do ever since I was up in Pai hanging with a group of fighters.

Ko Samui

Gaylord Focker ruined the surprise honey moon for Pam's sister and her husband. Operation Ko Samui... remember? "Oh, Jack talk Thai, Jack talk Thai well." The scene from Meet the Parents was the first thing I thought of when I heard about Ko Samui. Picking up right where we left off, we hopped on a ferry for Ko Samui, one of Thailand's more ritzy and glitzy and beautiful islands. The Ko Phangan crew, as stated before, is just about dismantled. Only Kevin and I remain, but travelling with us are some newbies. During our SCUBA adventures we met a cool dude from the northern U.K. named Matt, with the hardest English accent I've ever heard. Also, I met a Brazilian when I was in the north near Chiang Mai and we kept making plans to meet up down south, so we finally did here in Ko Samui. So although I came to Thailand by myself, rarely have I been alone.

We got to Chaweng Beach yesterday. It is the most expensive beach in Samui, and pretty much the most in all of Thailand. But I have been able to get by in expensive spots before, as all you do is cruise town and find a little nook with a cheap guest house and a cranny for cheap eats. But this was not the case in Chaweng. Forget about budget or even midrange, this place was wall to wall upper class, and with all of the Americana to prove it. An Ed Hardy store in Thailand, are you shitting me?! Our wallets wouldn't have been able to survive more than one day, eventhough we would have loved to stay longer. The beach is miles long with sand as soft, white, and clean as baby powder, and the water is crystal clear. But it was honeymoon central, and that is not what we are after.

So we went to the next beach down to Lamai, the second nicest beach on the island, but far more backpacker friendly. We found a bungalow in a nice corner of the beach, and with a roomie to help split the costs, I'm paying $2 for a bungalow just steps from the water. $2!? For the sake of my germaphobic family members, I'm not going to go into the details of the conditions of this room. There's a bed, four walls, and a roof... sort of, let's leave it at that. I swing my door open, hop down three rickety steps, walk for ten seconds, and I'm in the water. $2!? There's a catch, no? An expensive key deposit, a ridiculously early check out time... there's got to be something, right? Julie, an Aussie and owner of White Sands is as down with the backpackers as one can be. She doesn't require a key deposit nor does she even have a check out time. It's a nice breath of fresh air compared to all of the money grubbing, stone cold Thai women bungalow operators that know you're a foreigner with a fat wallet and try to weasel away as much out of you as possible. The beach here is just as long, the water is just as clear. What makes Lamai second to Chaweng is the quality of the sand, but that's really it. For $2 a night on a freakin' beach, I'll take it.

Please enjoy another loveable, trashy moment from the Full Moon Party.

Photos

I've just added two more albums to Webshots: My hill tribe trek in Chiang Rai and the Full Moon Party in Ko Phangan. These albums are so on the opposite ends of the spectrum its hard to believe they took place in the same country. But then again, that's why I chose Thailand. I'm about to leave Ko Tao en route for Ko Samui. Alright, I have to get away from this computer, these two Swedes sitting next to me have the most annoying accents and laughs I've ever heard.

Call Me SCUBA Steve

Put it in the books, baby... I am an officially licensed open water SCUBA diver. Fuckin' A, right? The course took three and a half days and consisted of some videos, classroom sessions, tests, and lots of diving. We went as far down as 60 feet, so I am certified to go down to 18 meters. It's a pretty surreal experience to be breathing under water. I dove once when I was thirteen, but it was only in about ten feet. When you are as deep as 50 and 60 feet, you lose all sense of reality. You don't know where up or down is, you just float around having a good time, do flips and cruise for things that look cool. But SCUBA can be very dangerous, too. You have to constantly equalize your ear drums by pinching your nose and blowing out, sort of like when you are on the airplane to pop your ears. The pressure on your ears and lungs from being so deep can basically force your inner parts to implode, so you have to descend and ascend very slowly. But once down there, have a ball! The group we had was great. The leaders are around our age, a little older, and all the people in the group are in their twenties, so the vibe is very easy going and fun. Aside from our SCUBA instructor humping every girl in the group, I'd say the course was problem free.

But all the while, I couldn't help but think that the number one method for transmitting oral herpes can't possibly be through sex... it has to be through SCUBA... everyone sharing mouth pieces and what not, and it only gets rinsed out in water. There were some dirty ass people on this boat, man, let me tell ya. Maybe I'll write a joke about it.

The crew that formed back in Ko Phangan is slowly breaking up, as people are venturing onto the next phases of their trip. Long gone are the sweet sounding accents of the Swedish girls, the 'eh's' from the Canadians, and today we said good bye to Haley and George. It's sad, because we all clicked really well... but that's travelling. What began as twelve is now down to the final three: Kevin from Ireland, Tim from London, and myself, pictured below.

Inside of You

I've been in Thailand for six weeks now, and I have met no more than five Americans since I've been here. There are absolutely no people from the States and I have no idea why. It's mostly British, Australian, and a million Swedes. This statistic ties into this story.

In Ko Phangan, every restaurant played movies and shows from America. One place ran re-runs of the tv show "Friends" all night and day, nothing else. One place played action movies like "Terminator" and "The Day the Earth Stood Still." So it's fun, you hang out with a nice group for a leisurely dinner and watch a movie. Well, this one place we sat down at was playing "Forgetting Sarah Marshall." If you have seen it, you know how funny it is, and if you haven't seen it, well, see it. So the American comedies over here are a funny thing. The Europeans and Thai's, although they love to watch them, don't exactly get them quite like we do.

The movie was at the scene where everyone is at the buffet in Hawaii, and Jonah Hill's character asks Aldous Snow to sing a song for everyone. Aldous gets on stage and sings a song about "being inside" Sarah Marshall. So here I am cracking up at one of the funniest parts of the movie, and everyone else is staring at me then staring back at the screen trying to figure out what is so damn funny. I'm sticking out like a sore thumb and I can't even help it. It was like this all week though. Superbad was playing another night and people sat down the whole movie without laughing once. Come on, when Aldous started doing that little dance were you able to hold in your laugh?

Find more videos like this on www.truveo.com.

Ko Tao-rible

F me in the A. After a day of recovering, Tim from London, Kevin from Ireland, the Swedish girls, the English couple George and Haley, and I took a ferry to Ko Tao, a tiny island 2 hours north of Ko Phangan, who's rep stems from being one of the cheapest SCUBA certification spots in the world. Little did we know, however, every other Full Moon Partier was on their way as well. We hit Ko Tao at 2 p.m. and it was an immediate scramble to find a place to stay, but there was absolutely nothing. We walked and walked, and walked some more. The girls sat and ate while George and I went place to place for another hour in search of a place to lay our head for the night. The only option was a smack-dab on the beach villa for 1,800 Baht, which is not terrible considering how many people we had. But by the time we came back to check in, he had already given the place away. So back to square one. It was getting late and options were wearing thin. We proposed the idea of sleeping on the beach, and while most of us were keen on it, the Swedish queens, of course, were not. So they paid more than we were willing to shell out for a small room. Soon after, Kevin, George, Haley and I started scouting locations to set up camp. We found a nice little patch of sand away from the drunk passerbyers, laid out all our blankets and towels, threw the mosquito net over our faces, and tried to bear with it. It would have been a damn cool adventure had the mosquitos not been all over the place, and at around one we had to change spots. We found some hammocks, but that lasted a mere hour before the bugs followed us. We walked further down the beach where a party was taking place. There were bean bags all over the sand, people dancing all around them, and we figured that if we could deal with the blaring techno, atleast we'd be comfortable. So, here's the situation... we're hot, sweaty, tired, and we're right in the middle of a rave, ladyboy transvestites dancing all around us while we're just trying to settle into a bean bag and pass out. That lasted us through 6:30 a.m., and at that point it was another scramble to find a place to stay.

Unfortunately, no hotels know who's checking out and when, so you just have to be at he right place at the right time and hope people are leaving as you are entering. After going to a couple places, it was evident that it would be pure luck to land five of us in one room let alone two. After a quick chat with a ladyboy hotel manager, something started to brew. Maybe it was the cute twinkle in my eye or maybe it was the Ladyboy's odd view on sexuality, but he/she was quite keen on me. There was only one small room for two available, and I knew that if I had any shot of getting all five of us a room, I would need to up my Ladyboy flirting skills and convince her to give us this four person bungalow that was already reserved for two people. At this time, it might be our only shot of getting everyone accommodated. After some playful giggling, some smiles, and even a little fake gayness on my end, Tilda the Ladyboy said, "I take care you. I give you big bungalow for you friends and I put other people in small bungalow. I like you." So, in a town and location where everyone is paying upwards of 400 Baht each for a place, the five us are paying 160 Baht each to stay in a bungalow with two double beds, George and Haley in one and me, Tim, and Kevin in the other... oh, the trials and tribulations of being a budget traveller. We should be starting our SCUBA course tomorrow or the next day.

In the meantime, enjoy another classic moment from Full Moon Party debauchery.

Full Moon Party Results

All I can say is... what a freakin' week. The Full Moon Party was last night, and it was a spectacle to say the least. Let's start with the basics first, though. It starts getting really crowded here about three days before, and the parties leading up to it get progressively more crowded, crazier, louder, later and unfortunately more dangerous, but that's expected. I was hanging with these two really cool French couples my first couple days here about a week ago, but they left. Soon after I got together with a really chill dude from England named Tim. From there, we buddied up with ten other people from our bunglaow and for the last four nights have been gelling really well and having a great time together. The rest of the group comprised of two girls from Vancouver, a Heath Ledger look alike from Ireland who think NYC is the greatest place in the world, a couple from England, two Swedish girls who play soccer better than any guy I know, and an Irish chick (we already know how I feel about girls with Irish accents).

The Full Moon Party is the culmination of an entire week of partying leading up to it, set under the full moon. People dress up in costumes, get body paint designs, wear funny outrageous colors, and wear sweet arm bands. The DJ's start spinning at 9p.m. and don't stop until 11 a.m. on a beach about 2/3's of a mile long. At around 2 a.m. when the party is in full swing, roughly 10,000 people fill the beach end to end. Boats of people come from other islands just to take part. DJ booth follows DJ booth, beach bar follows beach bar, and the music is so loud you can walk through one set of speakers to the next and not hear anything else but the music playing right in front of you. As for drinks, you get a bucket. Yes, a bucket. You go up to the bar and ask for whatever you want with whatever mix, and they pour it into a big bucket. If your negotiating skills/people skills are up to par, you should be able to get a medium sized bottle of any alcohol with a couple of mixers for $4.



Every travel blog I read prior to this trip writes that roughly 3 people die at every Full Moon Party. I got to tell you, I am surprized it's not more. There's 10,000 people on a beach dancing to techno all night, drugged out and/or drunk like never before, and with an ocean in front of them. Something HAS to go wrong. I saw as one guy punched another guy, then two friends of the guy who got punched smashed a bottle over the other guy's head, and once he was down they kicked him and punched him until he stopped moving. The beaten man got up and stumbled ten feet, and the three guys went after him again. Come 5 a.m. half the people left on the beach are either sprawled out in the sand dead passed out, fucking, or crying on a telephone. Unfortunately, the beach gets absolutely trashed, bottles are all over the place, sandals and clothing are everywhere, and if you didn't bring shoes with you then say hello to stitches. And let's not forget, this is the time when people try alot of different things for the first time.

But amidst all of the bad there is so much fun to be had. If you're with a great group and the vibe is nice, what could be better than dancing on a beach all night under a full moon with a big ass bucket of whatever you want in your hand!? So for me, I took it in stride, as I feel alot of poeple do as well. You don't LOVE the Full Moon Party... you moreso love the concept of the Full Moon Party. So in my opinion, I'd say it's absolutely something that should be experienced. It's a spectacle, it's one of the most reknown parties on the planet, and it's great to be part of it. But one is certainly enough for me. If you are a raver, you love to drop E, and you don't mind people puking around you all night, well, call this place home.

Fuego

Ko Phangan is famous for it's parties and loose life style, and as a result alot of "accidents" occur. A fire jump rope + a bunch of drunk idiots that think they can jump in, around, and over fire = well, just look.



But hey, don't hate on the spaz just yet... he takes a deep breath, muscles up, and tries again.

Pictures

It's been a long time coming and I'm sorry for taking so long, but I've finally started to put up photos of the cities I've been to thus far. The internet connections take forever over here, so bare with me as I continue to post up the rest of what I have. There's a solid number of albums already up, so enjoy them while I get the rest going.

All else is well in Ko Phangan, the Full Moon Party is on the 10th, but it seems like there is a party every night just because the moon is in the sky. I met a group of Frenchies on the ferry over, and I've been hanging with them for the last few days. The link to my photo page is below as well as in my links section. Bundle up peeps, I hear it's cold over there!

Pictures

Are You into Mooning?

I haven't changed my clothes in four days. I haven't slept in a hotel in three. I've showered once in 72 hours. It began in Chiang Mai, at the top of the country. It has ended with me on the tiny island of Ko Phangan on the eastern side of Thailand's strip of islands. In between the beginning and the end was a nine hour overnight bus to Bangkok, followed by a twelve hour over night train to Surat Thani, followed by a two hour pick up truck ride to the pier, followed by a three hour ferry to Ko Phangan. 830 miles later, I've reached the first of many island paradises. Ko Phangan is famous for it's legendary Full Moon Parties, thrown on each full moon, once a month. People get trippy, people dance all night, and people do everything they want to do at home but can't because of legalities. A solid analogy would be similar to Amsterdam on a white sandy beach with crystal clear waters, minus the red light district. 2-3 people die every Full Moon Party. Grandma, don't worry, I'll be so tired from swimming all day that I'll be in bed no later than 11:30. The party is not until the 10th, but you need to get here well before if you want any shot of a place to stay.

It's been a fun five weeks up north. I've done some great hiking, solid trekking, temple touring, motor biking, and overall a very non-touristy, cultural experience. But now I need some beach, and Thailand has some of the world's best. But don't yawn just yet all you beach haters and/or pasty whites (you know who you are), there's plenty to do off the beach down here as well.

Track my progress under my 'links' section... I've been covering some ground!

Kill Me

Just killing some time back in Chang Mai... I'm taking an over night bus down to Bangkok where I have to connect on a train to go down to the beaches.

I was just on NFL.com catching up on my much needed football gossip, trades, and Combine news. I don't have a good enough reason as to why I did this, but I watched the highlights, or should I say lowlights of that Giants/Eagles Divisional Playoff game. As innate as my breathing, I let out loud grunts and groans everytime Justin Tuck barely missed sacking McNabb, or when Jacobs and Ward couldn't push two more inches to get that first down on 4th and centimeters. That 3rd and 20 conversion McNabb threw to Avant? I banged my fists to the table and every German, Dutch, and Irish soccer queen in the cafe looked at me like I was crazy. My day is now ruined... thanks alot Brandon, Eli, and Derek. And even though we showered in the same locker room... screw you Donovan, you're an Eagle.

Southern Comfort

I met a dude from South Carolina. I spoke to him for maybe a minute. But what he said to me in sixty seconds had as big an impact as anyone I've spoken to thus far. "So what are you doin' in Thailand?" I asked him. "Man, I'm just here trying to fix up what's inside me so that I can better fix what's going on outside me. We all got it twisted, man... we try to fix everything on the outside before we fix what's inside. That's backwards. We got to get ourselves right on the inside before we can make better what's on the outside." And that was it.